1.Not everyone has mastered the art of texting. Case in point:

Mom: Stop at dollar store on way home and get lunch maggots.
Me: Lunch maggots?
Mom: Baffles.
Mom: Baggies.
Mom: Ziploc lunch Baggies.
Mom: Spell-check is not helping me.
Mom: By the way, this is Dad.

2. Scene: A bookstore

Customer: Can you help me find a book?

Me: Of course. Do you know the author or title?

Customer: Well, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it. I want that book.

Me: Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.

Customer: Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?

Me: Unfortunately, no.

Customer: In that case, I’ll take my business to a bookstore that has better computers.

3.The Beauty of the World

My techie husband and I were walking in the high desert when he stopped to photograph one stunning vista after another. Overcome by the sheer beauty, he paid it his ultimate compliment: "Everywhere I look is a screen saver!"